Funny SMSz


  • Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ?
    Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !

  • Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.
    Vet: Why do u want to do that?
    Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don't want anything to make her think she's welcomed.

  • Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behaved persons... Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony!

  • Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
    Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
    Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
    Man: My wife...

  • I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.

  • Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes?
    A: Those who don't have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!

  • Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ?
    Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !

  • Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.
    Vet: Why do u want to do that?
    Coz my mom-in-law is visiting us & I don't want anything to make her think she's welcomed.

  • Most of my friends are normal, sane, cultured, decent, intellectual & well-behaved persons... Just wanna thank you for breaking the monotony!

  • Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
    Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
    Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
    Man: My wife...

  • I Love You is 8 letters long. Then again, so is bullshit.

  • Q: Which type of Women wear Revealing Clothes?
    A: Those who don't have Confidence in the Imaginative powers of Men!

  • Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
    Student: Father-in-Law!

  • Agar aap chahte hain k apke face pe dhool-mitii na lage to Roz subah lagaiye Asian Paints ka Apex Ultima jo dhool-mitti ko tikne na de!

  • What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
    Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

  • Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason.

  • Advice of dentist. "Treat ur girl friend like a toothbrush. Don't let any body else use it, and get a new one every three months.

  • What building has the most stories?
    The Library.

  • A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.

  • Girl announced her engagement to her father.
    Father: Does this fellow has any money?
    Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!

  • Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

  • If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

  • Education is incomplete without 5 B's
    B - Bikes
    B - Beers
    B - Babes
    B - Bunks and the most important
    B - Backlogs!

  • Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.

  • Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait?
    He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say 'Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait'.

  • Tension happens in brain and love is felt in heart. Then why do people get heart attack when they are tensed and why people get mad when they are in love?

  • Only once in your life u'll get a right person with whom u'll get married, so, till than keep enjoying with the wrong Ones!

  • Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

  • I pray to God that any person who tries to fuck ur happiness, may his ass begin to itch & his hand grow shorter that he can't reach his ass to scratch.

  • He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

  • How 2 catch squirrels?
    It's simple. Just climb a tree & sit, Squirrels will come in search of U... U know Y? Coz They Love NUTS!

  • Keeping a place for me in ur heart is ok, but keeping a place for me in your mind mite be dangerous coz people say... I'm MIND BLOWING.

  • My Marriage is Fixed Surprisd?
    Dekho free di party da sun k kivein khush hunde ne.

  • The successful marriage depends on one simple equation: Wife having Beauty Secrets and husband having Secret Beauties.

  • There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day.

  • True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u!

  • Commerce joke: Do u know y in a couple's photo man is on the right side & woman on the left?
    Because as per balance sheet liabilities are on left side and assets on right!

  • Girl anounced her engagement. Father: Does this fellow have any money?
    Girl: Oh! Daddy, U men are all alike, that's exactly what he asked me about you!

  • A Solid reason for having two girlfriends at one time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

  • If u don't have a gf/bf, don't have a nice job, don't like partying & dancing, just have a boring life, then don't worry just log on to www.rabba chukk

  • A cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
    Dr: What salary U Xpect?
    Nurse: Rs.10,000.
    Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
    Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000

  • Which is the most confusing day in America?
    Still thinking?
    Fathers day!

  • In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!

  • There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & GOOD _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... Is right. Gud Day.

  • Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper Ultra.
    BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!

  • Gud looks catch the eyes, but gud personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! Flattered? Don't Be! It was sent to me, and I just wanted you to read it.

  • There was a man who never romped or played. He never smoked or drank, nor kissed a girl. And he passed away, insurance was denied. Since he had never lived, they claimed he never died. So live it up. CHEERS

  • Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: Will you marry me?
    She replied: No!
    And the guy lived happily ever after.

  • Daily Prayer: O GOD, give us strength & capacity to pay Income Tax, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Excise Duty, Octroi, TDS, ESI, FBT, Prop.Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, Water Tax, Prof. Tax, Road Tax, Edu Cess, Congestion Levy & many more. Besides don't forget Gunda Hafta, Bribes, Donations, Chanda, Beggers etc... If we have some time & money left after that, we will do some Business. Cheers to Booming Indian Economy! Gud Day!

  • Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied men! But behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man...!!

  • All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

  • There's a small gap between confidence and over-confidence. You can kiss your girlfriend is Confidence. Only you can kiss your girlfriend is Over-Confidence.

  • What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
    Answer: A pineapple.
    Confused...? I knew you would be!

  • How to catch a squirrel?
    Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !

  • A highly successful flirt was once asked: Which one is ur best gf?
    He replied: The next one!
    Always aim high n continuously improve ur performance.

  • The most interesting thing about this sms is that by the time you realize that nothing is written in it.... it would be too late for you to stop reading it!

  • Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian!

  • If I was a painter, u would be my painting. If I was an author, you would be my story. If I was a poet, you would be my poem. But unfortunately I am a psychiatrist.

  • Hi, keep messaging me and win exciting prizes:
    3rd Prize: Lots of Luv.
    2nd Prize:Longlasting friendship.
    1st Priz: Free stay for Lifetime in my heart.

  • No matter how high the sky is, how deep the ocean is, how strong the wind is, how wide the river is, I just wanna tell u... it's none of ur business.

  • is okay to wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime have some fun with the wrong ones.

  • Well, they do say opposite attracts... So I sincerely 'hope' you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cuultured.

  • A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high school.

  • In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36

  • A Law Professor asks a Student: Which is the most imp LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
    The Student replies: Father-in-Law

  • A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water.
    Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I've killed the motorist.

  • As u face a brand new day, bow ur head & say this prayer: Thank u Lord for having this amazingly gud luking sender. May his smartness increases everyday.

  • Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?
    A: In advertisements.

  • Q: What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
    A: 3 runs in 3 balls.

  • Q: What is the height of optimism?
    A: Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

  • What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
    The walk back to the pavilion.

  • Someone has kidnapped the Indian cricket team and demanded Rs 50 crore or else he would burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have already donated 25 litres.

  • Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!

  • Dear reciever, I'm a Blonde Virus. I'm not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !

  • Colour of ur underwear reflects ur mood:
    Red: Wild
    Black: Sexy
    Blue: Romantic
    Pink: Seductive
    White: Calm
    Yellow: Time to change it...

  • Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!

  • Meaning of ABCDEFG : A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls.
    Reverse the letters GFEDCBA
    Girls Forget Everything Done & Catch new Bakra Again

  • Height of Kanjoosi: A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade!

  • A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely beautiful when her lips r closed !

  • What did the Zero say to the Eight?
    Nice Belt

  • Saif: My dil goes hmmmmmm...! My dil goes hmmmmmmm....! My dil goes mmmmmmMMm......!! My dil goes mmmmmmm.....!
    Javed Jafri: Is this da dils or da makhis...?

  • Tabiyat thik nahi thi. Tantrik ko dikhaya, Tantrik bola bhoot ka saya hai, kisi ghor paapi ko SMS karo theek ho jaoge... Ab accha mahsus kar raha hoon.

  • Javed Jaffery proposing a girl: Hi, the babes, here is mys parpoz, with this d reds rose. Plz don't u d rejects my parpoz b'coz I don't parpoz d ROZ ROZ!

  • If U Don't Eat Junk food, Don't Smoke, Don't Drink, Don't Have boy Friend/Gal Friend, Don't Play Cards, No Late Nights; Then Visit Our site:

  • Another Moon?... Possible
    Another Sun?... Possible
    Another Sky?... Possible
    Another person Like U?... Impossible
    'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice.

  • It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI

  • Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U!
    Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

  • Reverse dynamics: When a man becomes rich he becomes naughty & when a woman becomes naughty.... she becomes rich.

  • A lady is standing on top of the hill n she is going to push her father down. So what's the name of the lady?

  • Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.

  • Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Littlr Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack

  • Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy

  • When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.

  • Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai

  • Plz pass this SMS to all ur friends. A person urgently needs 3 bottles of....
    Foster beer (chilled) with chips. It's urgent Cell no & name is as displayed

  • People who do lots of work..make lots of mistakes,
    People who do less work..make less mistakes,
    People who do no work..make no mistakes,
    People who make no mistakes..get promoted.

  • What is the height of Flirting?
    It's When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

  • Ganguly's Son: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
    Ganguly's Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai !

  • U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

  • A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
    Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

  • A friend is: Who lends you...
    Pen in School...

  • Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
    A: Because they need a map.

  • An old to Doc: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
    Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.

  • Astrologer: U'll meet a young gal who wanna everything about u.
    Frog: When n where?
    Astrologer: Next semester in Biology lab

  • Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday...

  • Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
    Both don't exist.

  • Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

  • It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

  • Thought for the future generation: Don't marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several women happy.

  • U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media

  • Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment... warm b'coz AC doesn't work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50

  • Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
    The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more

  • A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three year old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops."

  • A French in a hotel in NY, phoned room service for some pepper.
    Attendant: Black pepper or white pepper?
    French: Toilette pepper!

  • Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!
    Bush: Wow! Howc many?
    Manamohan: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronnaut

  • What's the definition of a skeleton?
    A striptease that went just too far...

  • Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after sucking ur blood. Thanks

  • I'd climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue, I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you

  • A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how many have handled it but u still want to have it.

  • When things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I'm with u, U have money & Bar is open

  • Feeling bored? Wondering, what to do? Open the zip! Enter your hands in between your zip... take out your... book from your bag and study!

  • Wat a RIP OFF! I saw a book in the store titled: 37 Mating Positions. I took it home, sat in my room,opend it. Damn it...It was a book on CHESS!

  • Today if anyone praises U for ur beauty, nature, style, attitude... kick them... How dare they fool U before APRIL 1st.

  • Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great, I know this is too much for u, so here is a shortcut - Just think about ME!

  • Do u remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out, then people started shouting 'TWINS TWINS'

  • Tip to reduce alcohol consumption: Before marriage drink only on the days when u r sad, after marriage drink only on days when u r Happy!

  • In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
    Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

  • Some dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing the board on gate. Why?
    Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC

  • I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.!

  • Once in a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN MASALA
    But girraffe was not eating. Why?
    Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND

  • A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...
    Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat

  • Judge: U r crossing the limits.
    Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
    Judge: How dare you call me saala?
    Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?

  • May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty

  • Devdas's matrimonial ad- Wanted wife. Age no bar! Height No bar! Luks no bar! Caste No Bar!
    But gal's father shoul have his own Bar.

  • What do u call a woman in heaven?
    An Angel
    A crowd of woman in heaven?
    A host of Angels
    And all woman in heaven?

  • I just bought a used car. It's a convertible. You turn the key, and it converts into a piece of crap. -Scott E. Roeben

  • Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects

  • Always start your day with a lot of S E X
    so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!

  • Do you know the difference between a pun and a fart?
    A pun is a sudden shift of wit!

  • A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage. What did they named them?
    They named them as 'Jo-Jua', 'So-Hua'

  • What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
    Wow! New Underwear.

  • Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.

  • Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
    Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
    Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

  • There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.

  • It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

  • What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
    Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

  • How do u know when kids start to grow up?
    Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!

  • A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
    Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH.

  • Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

  • In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
    Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.

  • Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.

  • I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!

  • Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?
    Your bum cheeks!!

  • I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back...... Nice Ass!!!

  • A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'
    He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'

  • Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
    A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

  • Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don't send it back; I've already received hundreds.

  • So Sweet is ur SMILE,
    So Sweet is ur STYLE,
    So Sweet is ur VOICE,
    So Sweet is ur EYE,
    see Sweetly I Lie.

  • The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
    Dil Chhata Hai.......

  • Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.

  • God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.

  • I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!

  • Your smile can be compared to a flower, ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo, ur innocence to a child, but in stupidity u have no comparison you r the best.

  • If u want the latest MERCEDES BENZ on easy installments of 10 yrs without any down payment.......log onto our website:

  • Mom: Andy, where r u off to now?
    Son: I`m gonna join the army.
    Mom: But, legally u r only an infant.
    Son: That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry.

  • Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.

  • Sometimes when u cry, no 1 sees ur tears. Sometimes when u r worried, no 1 sees ur pain. Sometimes when u r happy, no 1 sees ur smile. But fart just once...

  • Think big, think smart, think positive, think beautiful, think great, I know this is too much for you, so here is a shortcut... just think about ME!

  • Today, tommorow and yesterday there'll be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose?
    Your Own Stupid!

  • When u smile the world smiles with u. Wen u r down people'll rally behind u but when u fart u r alone coz people'll never stand by u!

  • This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?
    Animal Planet!

  • If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.

  • Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Then my heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care.

  • Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!

  • If I ever go for a brain transplant I'd like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

  • Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.
    Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.

  • Q: Why do men fart more often than women?
    A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.

  • A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
    Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

  • Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.

  • When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

  • My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still be successful.

  • Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are, it is not your figure too, beauty is the inner self, so change your underwear daily.

  • Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!

  • Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

  • Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
    Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.

  • A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
    Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.

  • Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain.

  • Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
    Ur bums.

  • Look at the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky & see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's wonder! Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder!

  • Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
    A: A Moti-vaiting.

  • Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.

  • Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.

  • Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

  • Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others & legends never talk, they send SMS.

  • The first half of our lives is spent ignoring our parents' advice and the second half in trying to keep our children from ignoring ours.

  • When u r down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r crying & no one is there then too don't just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free.

  • Look at the world around u; u'll see God's creativity. Look at the breakfast table; u'll c God's providence. Look at the mirror u'll c God's sense of humor.

  • A student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
    Dad write back sad, too bad, your dad!

  • You should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so you can live and have a shower so others can live.

  • Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?
    A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

  • God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.

  • I want you 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry Ii cry. U lauf I lauf. U jump out of the window... I look down &then... I lauf again

  • The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?

  • I've written a poem for you:
    Twinkle twinkle little star,
    you should know what you are,
    and once you know what you are,
    Mental hospital is not so far.

  • What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

  • Banta: How does an attorney sleep?
    Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

  • Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.

  • I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?

  • A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun?

  • Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but girl's father must have his own bar...CHEERS

  • The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

  • May the fleas of thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

  • Teacher: Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it to exclamatory sentence.
    Student: WOW !

  • I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have Candle Light Dinner & say those three sweet words to you....Pay The Bill.

  • Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
    A: Lifebuoy.

  • When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me I'll take u to an eye specialist!

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