Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~Mark Twain
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. ~William James
Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public. ~Tom Walsh
Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it. ~George Saintsbury
There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. ~Thomas W. Higginson
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. ~Mary Hirsch
Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. ~Author Unknown
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Humor is just another defense against the universe. ~Mel Brooks
Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. ~Sid Caesar
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes. ~William Davis
I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. ~Frank A. Clark
Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events. ~E.T. "Cy" Eberhart
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road. ~Henry Ward Beecher
Someone once defined humor as a way to keep from killing yourself. I keep my sense of humor and I stay alive. ~Abe Burrows
Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. ~Roman Gary
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. ~Francis Bacon
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. ~Irvin S. Cobb.
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. ~Christopher Morley
Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom. ~Taki
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What good would that do? -Ronnie Shakes
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, sings. -Ed Gardner
I have great faith in fools - my friends call it self-confidence. -Edgar Allen Poe
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W. C. Fields
I distinctly remember forgetting that. -Clara Barton
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt. - Kin Hubbard
Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. -Goethe
People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up. --Gallagher.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. -General George Patton
An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued. -Irvin S. Cobb
Banta: Mein New Zealand vich mundayan naal BUNGEE jumping khoob enjoy keeti. Tu kehri sports khedthi c ?
Preeto: Mein vi pind vich mundayan naal MANJEE jumping khoob enjoy kitti c.
A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him. -Nicolas Boileau
Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them. -David Brent
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. -Eden Phillpots.
There are moments when everything goes well; don't be frightened, it won't last. -Jules Renard
Sure, there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'. -Kevin Meyers
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller
You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough. -Joseph E. Levine
I'm currently fasting to protest hunger strikes. Scott E. Roeben
People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up. -Gallagher.
I took a philosophy test that asked us to explain Nothingness. I left it blank. -Scott E. Roeben
I heard that the idea for the patent was stolen. -Scott E. Roeben
A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash. -Puzant Kevork Thomajan
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want --an adorable pancreas? Kerr, Jean
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. -Brooke Shields
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. -Rich Cook.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. -Dave Barry
We the willing, following the unknowing are doing the impossible. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now able to do anything with nothing. -Anonymous
Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about. -Lynn Johnston
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. - George W. Bush
If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself. -Leon Eldred
Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. -Langston Hughes.
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamposts: for support rather than illumination. -Andrew Lang
If you have wit, use it to please and not to hurt: you may shine like the sun in the temperate zones without scorching. -Lord Chesterfield
I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. -Anne Wilson Schaef
Humor is that which most efficiently recognizes that we are living in an imperfect world, with imperfect arguments and things that are insane, illogical, and irrational. And the only way we can live with that fact is to laugh. -J. Barsoux
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. -Francis Bacon
Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first. -Billy Sunday
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. -Anon
It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner. -Ladies Home Journal
When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks. -Rita Rudner
There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. -Mary Kay Ash
Only a fool expects to be happy all the time. -Robertson Davies
I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. -Edith Sitwell.
Make crime pay, become a lawyer. -Will Rogers
The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. - General George Patton
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. -Al Capone
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road. -Henry Ward Beecher
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying. -Woody Allen
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. - Dereke Bruce.
Seven days without laughter make one weak. - Joel Goodman
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. -Samuel Goldwyn
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. -Emo Philips
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. -Woody Allen
Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. -James Thurber
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. -E. B. White.
A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. -Mignon McLaughlin
A person without a sese of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. -Henry Ward Beecher
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. -Bill Cosby
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. -William James
If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor. -Jennifer Jones
After God created the world, He made man and woman. Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor. -Bill Kelly, "Mordillo".
I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. -Anne Wilson Schaef.
No comments